Day 33: LaFaba - Biduedo (5/3/14)

It took the better part of 2 days for me to 're-boot' my Camino.

Retirement had been a huge prompt for my decision to walk this pilgrimage in the first place.

It was a very specific journey, 

for a very specific time in my life.

Santiago itself had never been the focus.

I wasn't convinced, then or now, 

that the bones interred in the crypt at the Cathedral 

are, in fact, those of St James.

To me, it doesn't even particularly matter whether they are or not.

The redefinition of myself 

as I transitioned from an active career to a different way of being 

and the need to process unresolved, primarily work related, grief

made the emphasis on Cruz de Ferro understandable.

I had not realized, however,

 how much I had identified it as the core marker of my journey. 

Now that it was over, 

I needed to redefine why I was still on the Way.

It took me a while to realize I had always been a 'seeker', 

a pilgrim; 

it wasn't an identity conferred on me 

by virtue of putting my feet in motion on this path.

I would continue to look for God, 

signs of His grace 

and His will for me in my life 

whether I was in Spain 

or back in the USA.

On this particular morning, 

I put my now recharged camera in the pocket of my pants -

and the weight of it caused them to slip off my hips.

I was in the best shape I had been in for years.

I had decided from the very beginning of planning for my Camino 

that I would walk beyond Santiago to Finisterre - 

the far-most western town on the coast of Spain,

located on the Atlantic Ocean. 

The Atlantic Ocean has, since childhood, 

been one of my 'happy places';

my 'emotional home' -

a place where I'm free to be my authentic self - 

and that destination still lay before me

Now that so much of my work identity had been shed

and I'd left all that at Cruz de Ferro,

the Camino was about a journey home -

a journey back to myself -
on so many levels, 

It always had been.

What can I say?

I told you I was a slow learner!