Sunday, December 28, 2014

Life altering

and body altering as well!

Because if your mid sixties isn't too old to walk the Camino -
it's not too late to get your first tattoo!

A wonderful reminder 
- every day - 
to keep walking The Way!

And despite all the warnings 
about how much a tattoo would hurt on the top of my foot,
it didn't hurt nearly as much as the best day of Camino walking did!
All bodies tell stories;
some are even on the outside!

Love it!

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Lessons from the Camino

It's been two months now since I returned from the Camino.
Two months.
I've been back as long as I was gone.

Yet here's the thing...
there's not a day that goes by when 
my Camino experience doesn't cross my mind...
I think of some person, 
some event, 
some difficulty overcome, 
some 'lesson' learned
every. single. day.

So, as not to forget what I've learned,
I've decided to write them down 
while they're still fresh;
not in any particular order of importance or as they occurred,
just lessons I want to always remember.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I have a new appreciation for the reality that 'whining' 
is my default inner mode of expression:
My Camino journal is replete with an ongoing litany of complaints -
physical ailments, emotional maladies, grievances about fellow travelers,
dissatisfaction with weather, food, location - -  you get the picture, right?

There's part of me that's OK with that - 
years of therapy (not to mention thousands of dollars) 
have put me directly in touch with my feelings; 
I'm not ashamed of identifying and sharing the same.

However, what doesn't get shared as much, 
but which co-exists in equal measure,
is the gratitude;
the recognition of all that is right and good in my life.
I'm determined to give voice and reality to that as well.

A corollary lesson is
*not all feelings need to be expressed!
Filters: use them.
~~~~~~~~~~
*Not all mountains are mine.
There were days when I would stand on top of a hill,
or walk along a plateau,
 and be aware of, and intimidated by, 
the enormous peaks surrounding me;
peaks I was convinced I would NEVER overcome; 
ones I stewed about endlessly -
until the path shifted in another direction 
and I was moving away from the very mountains I had dreaded.

As I journey further into old age, 
I need to remember that the mountains I dread -
cancer, Alzheimers, stroke, 
dying a painful death, poverty and being reduced to eating cat food etc - 
may NOT, in fact, be mine.
Yes they're looming all around me;
yes, some of them may become ones I have to climb,
but there's just as good a chance that they won't.

And, even if they do become mine, 
mountains,
just like plateaus,
*all have to be walked one step at a time.
~~~~~~~~~~
*My pace is my pace -
it's NOT a competition.
Yes, others may be whizzing by me,
moving along with more confidence, ability and strength;
that doesn't make the pace of my journey wrong;
it merely makes it my journey.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I see things differently than other people -
and that's OK.
One of the Dutch brothers I traveled with for several days, Brom,
asked to see my camera one night,
saying every time he turned around, I was taking pictures.
He sat quietly for several minutes
reviewing the images in my camera,
then put it down, stating,
"It's like we've been on two different Caminos; 
I don't remember any of this!"

So much of my professional life was looking at the big picture, 
seeing the broad strokes -
was a child safe, what needed to be done to protect them, was this adult lying etc;
in my private life, 
I tried to cultivate an eye for the small detail, 
the whimsical, the unseen and the overlooked.
And I love that that's my 'vision';
it's a gift.
~~~~~~~~~~
*Stay open to all new relationships,
even when they make you feel foolish.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I can do hard things;
surprising many people,
myself most of all.
I had a difficult job -
one that most people couldn't do;
facing, being witness to and fighting against human cruelty 
would make most people cringe and back away.
I faced it head on for decades.

Walking hundreds of miles, 
despite physical pain and living in challenging conditions,
is also not something many people could/would chose.
I love knowing that resiliency and trusting in my own pace 
will get me through difficult situations.
It may be hard, it may take longer than some folks,
but I'm capable of being persistent 
and getting it done!
~~~~~~~~~~
*Being called by name
 and welcomed with smiles 
and an adult beverage 
after a long, hard day
is a foretaste of heaven.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I am NOT a job;
I'm a human being, 
not a human doing.
My Camino friends never knew me as a Pediatric Social Worker;
they knew me as Donna.
Yet they still thought I was funny, 
irreverent, quirky, smart, articulate
and worth being with.
I am myself.
I can use any/all of these gifts 
in any job I chose to take.
I'll still be me when I clock off the job and head home.
~~~~~~~~~~
*There's a universality to the human condition 
that supersedes nationality.

We're all trying to live our lives
with purpose, meaning and love...

and succeeding and failing
in equal measure.
~~~~~~~~~~
*People you love 
never truly leave you.
~~~~~~~~~~
*Your path will not always be clear -
and there MAY be danger
but there is beauty to be found 
every day.



~~~~~~~~~~
*I've always been a pilgrim; 
I didn't need a 'Compostela' to prove it.
By definition, a pilgrim is defined as 
one who travels for the purpose of meeting and experiencing God 
with the hopes of being shaped and changed by that encounter.

I realize that the essence of this description is how I've chosen to live.
I look for God in my daily life;
I hope, no, expect, to be shaped and changed 
by those encounters 
and I find them - 
on a daily basis!
This orientation won't change just because I'm off a certain path in Spain.
~~~~~~~~~~
*'My Camino' was never about a walk to Santiago; 
it was always a journey back to myself;
and a journey toward God and home.

I feel more my 'true self' since returning to the States than I have in decades. 
I'm in better physical shape;
I'm sleeping better, feeling stronger and am calmer than before I left.
My blood pressure is within 'normal' limits for the first time since the early 80's.
But the changes are more than physical.

My 'soul' is calmer too: 
less frantic, less troubled, less sad.

Ever since I was a child,
I've had a knowledge, a sense, that this life is NOT the only reality there is.
There's something more; there's something larger;
a cosmic, creative force which doesn't exist solely with this time and space.

I think trying to describe what comes after this life 
would be akin to a fetus in the womb explaining what 'our' world is like;
the words, the vocabulary, the concepts, the ability to imagine 
are simply beyond understanding -
and the fact that we don't have the words for it 
doesn't negate the reality of its existence.

The sense that, as wonderful as this world can be, it is not my 'home' 
has been persistent for me; 
one that has gotten stronger as I've aged.
~~~~~~~~~~
*We are ALL just pilgrims passing through.
I'm determined to enjoy life's journey while I'm here -
but I know, beyond doubt,
 that life is
ALL just a walk 
toward home!

“He is the Way.

Follow him through the land of Unlikeness;
You will see rare beasts, and have unique adventures.”

May Christ be our only way.
May Christ lead us safely through the land of Unlikeness.
May Christ show us rare treasures and bestow unique adventures on us all.

WH Auden







Friday, June 6, 2014

Day 53: Santiago redux (5/23/14)


I returned to Santiago to begin my journey home the next morning -
with flights to
Madrid - Chicago - St Louis
Walking around felt very different this time...
I knew no one I saw in the Cathedral Square; 
I didn't go to the Pilgrim Mass.
It was just a city from which I was catching a flight home.

While I was waiting though,
I chose to explore a completely different part of the city -
a gorgeous park, complete with bookseller stalls, a rose garden
and a tribute to Rosa Castro, the Poet Laureate of Galician Spain.




I was also rewarded with seeing preparation for the Fiesta de Ascension.
You guessed it,
they were preparing for another long holiday weekend!
I won't even bother to drag out my soapbox about that again!

Besides, I LOVED that for celebrating the Ascension,
the predominant feature was a Ferris Wheel!
You know how much this girl loves symbolism!  



Oh, for those of you who are curious:

Yes - I got my 'stuff' back from 'the guy in Santiago that was holding it for me'.
It was simple, cheap and easy;
a great experience and service.
If you want/need his information, email me and I'll be happy to share.
AND
Yes, I bought something in Santiago - a new cross to wear and
in Cee, I bought a new pair of pants to wear home!

I also came home with about 2K of beach glass...
which I found along the beaches in Finisterre.
 I've always loved beach glass -
marveled at how something that's broken and sharp,
through the process of being tossed about and beaten against the rocks,
can have the roughness smoothed away
and its beauty refined, though muted.

I especially treasure this small piece
discovered and given to me by Anne -
a heart that's wounded but intact!
Like I said,
I love symbolism!

I'll probably be posting more on this site as I have reflections/thoughts to share.
In the meantime, however, I have to get ready to go to the reservation on a Mission trip.

If interested, you can follow along here.
When I return, I'll also be posting on my 'regular' blog, found here.

Thanks for following along -
and Buen Camino!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Days 49, 50, 51, 52: Finisterre (5/19, 5/20, 5/21, 5/22/14)

Anne and Peter left the next day to return to their pre-Camino lives
and the rest of their journeys.

I wandered around getting further in touch with my inner beach girl -
although, in reality, she's never that hard to find.



and I imagined a retirement spent in Spain.


I struggled with the language 
but was SO excited one evening when I was SURE I had gotten it across 
that I wanted the dressing on the side
of my avocado and shrimp salad.
And apparently, I did - 
see the packets of dressing in the upper right corner?

There was even another beautiful sunset
although rain completely changed the dynamics of the evening -
as did viewing it alone.




I reflected a lot
and I know there's not a single thing about my Camino I would have changed.

I'm not sure why the Camino chose me;
I'm not sure why I responded and said yes.
I do know it's not for everyone.
But then again, one year ago, 
I wouldn't have believed it was for me either, 
so what do I know...

I do know it was the most amazing thing I'll never do again!


Day 48: Finisterre (5/18/14)

Anne and I walked up to the lighthouse at the tip of Cape Finisterre this morning.
An extra 3.5K from town...
still rocking those kilometers!

Writers about Celtic Spirituality talk about 'thin places' -
those sacred times or locations in which the boundaries that separate earth and heaven are permeable;
when the distinctions between each realm cannot be clearly delineated.

Finisterre, on this morning, 
was the very definition of a thin place.

 It was exquisite.
And, even as the sun rose higher, 
making the boundaries between sea, earth and sky more visible,
a sense of holiness continued.

 And Anne and I joined the thousands of other pilgrims 
who have stood proudly by kilometer marker 
000.0.

There was nowhere left to go -
in Spain at least.

And no, as much as I'd have liked to, 
I didn't burn a set of clothes in the ash pit.
I'm way too frugal for that... 
they'll make excellent gardening outfits!



 It was very important to Anne and I that we not have our backpacks on 
when we walked to the lighthouse.
We wanted to symbolize how much less burdened we were 
at this stage in our journey.

As we were walking back to the albergue, 
Anne was convinced this reflection of trees/bushes in the water 
was a backpacker, 
a pilgrim with an arrow that pointed up to heaven...
guess our journeys will continue!






and, just that suddenly, 
my Camino was over.