The crippling 'I' factor

The pain was intense 

and persisted over several days; 

located directly below my knee 

on the back of my left leg

It didn't appear to be related to gait, 

hyperextension

or

over use;

although it did appear as I was making increased demands

on my body in terms of miles/distance walked.

It was unexpected and worrisome -

which is a mild way of putting it 

since I had images of a blood clot breaking off

from some artery in my leg 

and making its way directly to my lungs or heart!

(Oh come on, that I can be a drama queen 

should come as no surprise 

to any of you who know me!)) 

The pain wasn't disabling; 

it was just forcing me to go slower and to be more aware of my limitations.

(Two issues I struggle with and resist on a regular basis).

It wasn't as though I thought of using it as an excuse to stop my plans;

it did however serve as a powerful reminder 

that perhaps this whole journey 

was going to be more arduous and challenging 

than I'd let myself realize

in the earlier 'exciting' stages of planning.

It was while I was in church yesterday 

that I had some additional insight.

I realized how much the 'I' factor has been a predominant feature of my life 

for the past several months.

I'm training for the Camino,

I'm responding to Gods call to change my life,

I'm losing weight.

I'm getting stronger

I'm packing,

I'm planning,

I'm getting ready...

don't ask me precisely how -

but the pain in my leg brought back into sharp focus 

the reality that

 whatever I attempt to complete,

at any point in my life,

will only be accomplished 

through Gods grace

and with His help.

The prescription for this particular leg pain seemed to be
a little less I,
a little more humility

and a lot more awareness
of my dependence
on God.

The insight helped.

(As I'm sure did the ibuprofen and Arnicare gel -

but there's rarely only one way to treat what ails us, right?)

Grateful that the pain was noticeably less today.