Personal Safety

I've been surprised by the number of people 

who have responded to my statement that

I'm walking the Camino ALONE 

by asking me if I'm taking a gun.

First of all, 

that is, sadly, 

SUCH an American response.

(It's also sad to realize that, as a single woman, 
I feel safer about walking in Spain alone,
than I ever would about walking the Appalachian Trail - 

because I honestly think this country, 

and a sizable portion of the people in it, 

have gone round the bend.)

Second,

3 letters -

TSA

Third,

Hello, 

do you even KNOW me?

Fourth,

as a Social Worker in the ED, 

I am the person 

telling parents they're not taking their child home with them; 

informing them there will be parallel investigations 

by the State Protective Services and police 

because of our concerns about how they're parenting; 

answering in the affirmative when they ask
if they could lose custody of their baby.

I've been the one to call 'bullshit' on their explanations of how their child got injured.

I work in an urban ER,

in the middle of one of the most homicide ridden cities in the country,

serving the exact adolescent populations that are killing each other off 

with astonishing determination and focus.

Yet, I work everyday 

unprotected

by either metal detectors, 

effective screening

or Security Guards 

under the age of, oh, I don't know,

 "older than dirt".

Over the decades,
I've been threatened 

at knifepoint, 

with lawsuits,
bombs under my car,
death,
hexes,
voodoo curses 

and

by people who are carrying guns 

(though, thankfully, not drawn).

If personal safety was the prime consideration for any of us working at my facility,

the ER would be unstaffed!

I'm walking the Camino, in part, 

to throw myself on the mercy of the universe;

to relearn-

 (ok, for those of you who know my family of origin -

maybe learn for the first time) -

that the world is filled with people who can be trusted; 

that if I need something, I can ask for it 

and the world, 

or others on my path,

or God, 

will provide -

be 'it' shelter, directions, food, 

aspirin, Compeed for my blisters,

companionship, a sympathetic ear...

whatever.

I can't learn that if I've got 'buffers';

barriers that prevent me from being exquisitely vulnerable.

I'm convinced that my goal for this stage of life 

is learning to be 'undefended';

relinquishing control, 

becoming more open...

and a gun isn't the means to achieve that.

So, no, dear hearts, I won't be armed on the Camino -

and that's a good thing.
Though I appreciate your concern for my well being.

Besides, if I die on the Camino, 

well,

a) we all have to die somewhere of something

and

b) it will save me from a retirement of penury 

and eating cat food straight from the tins.

I'm good with whatever comes 
after the Camino-

except maybe that.