It's been two months now since I returned from the Camino.
Two months.
I've been back as long as I was gone.
Yet here's the thing...
there's not a day that goes by when
my Camino experience doesn't cross my mind...
I think of some person,
some event,
some difficulty overcome,
some 'lesson' learned
every. single. day.
So, as not to forget what I've learned,
I've decided to write them down
while they're still fresh;
not in any particular order of importance or as they occurred,
just lessons I want to always remember.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I have a new appreciation for the reality that 'whining'
is my default inner mode of expression:
My Camino journal is replete with an ongoing litany of complaints -
physical ailments, emotional maladies, grievances about fellow travelers,
dissatisfaction with weather, food, location - - you get the picture, right?
There's part of me that's OK with that -
years of therapy (not to mention thousands of dollars)
have put me directly in touch with my feelings;
I'm not ashamed of identifying and sharing the same.
However, what doesn't get shared as much,
but which co-exists in equal measure,
is the gratitude;
the recognition of all that is right and good in my life.
I'm determined to give voice and reality to that as well.
A corollary lesson is
*not all feelings need to be expressed!
Filters: use them.
~~~~~~~~~~
*Not all mountains are mine.
There were days when I would stand on top of a hill,
or walk along a plateau,
and be aware of, and intimidated by,
the enormous peaks surrounding me;
peaks I was convinced I would NEVER overcome;
ones I stewed about endlessly -
until the path shifted in another direction
and I was moving away from the very mountains I had dreaded.
As I journey further into old age,
I need to remember that the mountains I dread -
cancer, Alzheimers, stroke,
dying a painful death, poverty and being reduced to eating cat food etc -
may NOT, in fact, be mine.
Yes they're looming all around me;
yes, some of them may become ones I have to climb,
but there's just as good a chance that they won't.
And, even if they do become mine,
mountains,
just like plateaus,
*all have to be walked one step at a time.
~~~~~~~~~~
*My pace is my pace -
it's NOT a competition.
Yes, others may be whizzing by me,
moving along with more confidence, ability and strength;
that doesn't make the pace of my journey wrong;
it merely makes it my journey.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I see things differently than other people -
and that's OK.
One of the Dutch brothers I traveled with for several days, Brom,
asked to see my camera one night,
saying every time he turned around, I was taking pictures.
He sat quietly for several minutes
reviewing the images in my camera,
then put it down, stating,
"It's like we've been on two different Caminos;
I don't remember any of this!"
So much of my professional life was looking at the big picture,
seeing the broad strokes -
was a child safe, what needed to be done to protect them, was this adult lying etc;
in my private life,
I tried to cultivate an eye for the small detail,
the whimsical, the unseen and the overlooked.
And I love that that's my 'vision';
it's a gift.
~~~~~~~~~~
*Stay open to all new relationships,
even when they make you feel foolish.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I can do hard things;
surprising many people,
myself most of all.
I had a difficult job -
one that most people couldn't do;
facing, being witness to and fighting against human cruelty
would make most people cringe and back away.
I faced it head on for decades.
Walking hundreds of miles,
despite physical pain and living in challenging conditions,
is also not something many people could/would chose.
I love knowing that resiliency and trusting in my own pace
will get me through difficult situations.
It may be hard, it may take longer than some folks,
but I'm capable of being persistent
and getting it done!
~~~~~~~~~~
*Being called by name
and welcomed with smiles
and an adult beverage
after a long, hard day
is a foretaste of heaven.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I am NOT a job;
I'm a human being,
not a human doing.
My Camino friends never knew me as a Pediatric Social Worker;
they knew me as Donna.
Yet they still thought I was funny,
irreverent, quirky, smart, articulate
and worth being with.
I am myself.
I can use any/all of these gifts
in any job I chose to take.
I'll
still be
me when I clock off the job and head home.
~~~~~~~~~~
*There's a universality to the human condition
that supersedes nationality.
We're all trying to live our lives
with purpose, meaning and love...
and succeeding and failing
in equal measure.
~~~~~~~~~~
*People you love
never truly leave you.
~~~~~~~~~~
*Your path will not always be clear -
and there MAY be danger
but there is beauty to be found
every day.
~~~~~~~~~~
*I've always been a pilgrim;
I didn't need a 'Compostela' to prove it.
By definition, a pilgrim is defined as
one who travels for the purpose of meeting and experiencing God
with the hopes of being shaped and changed by that encounter.
I realize that the essence of this description is how I've chosen to live.
I look for God in my daily life;
I hope, no, expect, to be shaped and changed
by those encounters
and I find them -
on a daily basis!
This orientation won't change just because I'm off a certain path in Spain.
~~~~~~~~~~
*'My Camino' was never about a walk to Santiago;
it was always a journey back to myself;
and a journey toward God and home.
I feel more my 'true self' since returning to the States than I have in decades.
I'm in better physical shape;
I'm sleeping better, feeling stronger and am calmer than before I left.
My blood pressure is within 'normal' limits for the first time since the early 80's.
But the changes are more than physical.
My 'soul' is calmer too:
less frantic, less troubled, less sad.
Ever since I was a child,
I've had a knowledge, a sense, that this life is NOT the only reality there is.
There's something more; there's something larger;
a cosmic, creative force which doesn't exist solely with this time and space.
I think trying to describe what comes after this life
would be akin to a fetus in the womb explaining what 'our' world is like;
the words, the vocabulary, the concepts, the ability to imagine
are simply beyond understanding -
and the fact that we don't have the words for it
doesn't negate the reality of its existence.
The sense that, as wonderful as this world can be, it is not my 'home'
has been persistent for me;
one that has gotten stronger as I've aged.
~~~~~~~~~~
*We are ALL just pilgrims passing through.
I'm determined to enjoy life's journey while I'm here -
but I know, beyond doubt,
that life is
ALL just a walk
toward home!
“He is the Way.
Follow him through the land of Unlikeness;
You will see rare beasts, and have unique adventures.”
May Christ be our only way.
May Christ lead us safely through the land of Unlikeness.
May Christ show us rare treasures and bestow unique adventures on us all.
Buen Camino!
